Curse of The Blood

  This post is even darker than my previous blog as the title indicated. I never thought about write something with my family as I rather not to talk about them. This is not a whiny post as I try to confront my inner monster while dealing of hardship and pressure from life. The emotion and feeling of this post will significantly higher than previous post as well.

  There are 5 people in a family, a father , a mother and 3 sons. I am the eldest son and this is not a happy family. I vividly remember as I rewind my memory back to childhood moment, I can still hear the bitter quarrel of y parents over the night. They tried their best to keep the volume low, but sometimes they echo back in higher pitch when they were arguing over money. They still doing it till these days. My father is not deadbeat, he never leave the house for another woman and smoke, but he do addicted to gamble of 4D and alcohol consumption. He tried very hard to earn money as a contractor for house renovation, but he gambled the money away and spend the coins on his buddies who gather together for beer. He seems to value the importance more on his friends compared to his family. We are no longer go out for shopping together as I couldn't remember the last time we do things as a family. When he gets older and fragile, he can work too long as his job is backbreaking. So, he works on freelance with small projects given by our rich relative who shows pity on him. Overall, he is a good dad but unable to cope with harsh reality as the world is not as easy as it seems to be. He tried to open restaurant before but it closed within a month. He is not a very well planed person to begin with, so the failure is doomed from the start.

  Almost a year ago, my younger brother purchased a large motorbike worth 6000 ringgits. The motorbike seller was introduced by my father. After a few month, it was broken down. So, it went back to the shop for repair, but no news afterward. The tension between father and son grow intensify as times flied. Desperate and hopelessly, my brother had no choice but to put this bike on sale to reclaim a part of the money as the longer it stayed, the lesser value it will be. Shortage of motorbike bring out the huge issue in the family as 5 of us need motorbike for works and studies. With only 3 motorbike left, I had to take the oldest one with no strength to move. This lead me to have quarrel with my father and mother. Until now, family members don't talk to each other as everyone is hating something of the another person. Yesterday, father and my brother had a fight as my brother argued that he can never get the money backed because the motorbike shop owner is a liar. My brother mentioned he would buy the bike simply because he trusted my father. He scolded father for being irrational as he tried to offer other solution. My brother was clearly mad and almost reach crazy level. Not to mention the feud between my brother and I for the smartphone Xiao Mi. He was the one who convinced me to buy this cheap phone. He introduced me how great and efficient of the phone and how I was going to regret if I don't get one for myself. What happened was stated in the previous post. My heart is bleeding so hard right now as I need to pay 400 ringgits to get it fixed. I get so angry and tell him how wrong it is to buy this phone. I wish I can get refund but I couldn't. I stuck with this cheap junk , if I never listen to my brother, I could get a phone from Sony or Apple. My mum can't help as she is simply fading into background to avoid worse feud encounter.

  Overall, I do draw some inspiration from my family. They inspire me anything could happen in the future, the good and bad, I can only count on myself to be independent to survive in the society. They also inspire me not to weight too much on money in our lives as it is not everything of what a man would persuade for in his life. Moreover, they inspire me family ties can't be brake, unlike friends and lovers, as blood is thicker than water. The impact of my family is enormous as most people are under huge influence from their families too. First, I am thinking more for myself as I try to plan my future in a more precise approach. Secondly, I am calming myself as I tell my heart it is ok to lose some money as no one is hurt in the family. Thirdly, family ties can be a curse of the blood when money involved. I try not to focus too much on social life with friends as family need care and love too. For action, I will try to spend more time with my mum as she is the closest member in the family for me. We would try to bake cake and I will help her to clean the house. I will talk to my bother more as I want to show him there is no hard feeling between him and me. Overall, money is not a huge issue as we can always earn it back with both of our hands. However, if family relation is damaged beyond a person acceptance, there will be no turning back as a person hurts the most by the loved one. I will cherish all the family moment until the last day of my life.

  All families have a book they have problem to read.